Odd and Creepy

Know what woke me up first thing this morning?

Hearing my daughter say, loudly and clearly, "F#%k You! " in her own inimitable way.

Except she is 1600 miles away, and hopefully at work (two hour time difference).

I guess psychiatrists would say I just miss her, wanted to hear her voice, but we have always had a close relationship. When she was under pressure at college I would "feel" it and call her. Now, it doesn't feel like she is in trouble - just mad - and do I REALLY want to get in her way first thing in the morning? Maybe you can tell, she has a temper?

Well, she didn't answer the phone, so she must be working. Of course I called her, and of course I left a message telling her why I did. Honesty is the earmark of our relationship. I'd rather she think I was nuts than to lie to her.

Rarely do I get all existential, but sometimes one just gets a feeling that one cannot deny... There are only two other people with whom I have that kind of bond... it is a pain in the butt sometimes, to awaken suddenly, or to suddenly put one's head up at work or while driving, like a hunting dog catching a scent, knowing that I HAVE to contact that person, right away; phone, email, IM, to let them know I'm thinking of them, am here for them. But even though there is occasionally a false alarm, I do it, am driven to do it. My mind nags at me until I do it. Sometimes I tell them why, sometimes not. Always I tell her why, though.

The refrain "Everybody's crazy but you and me, and sometimes I'm not too sure about YOU!" hums thru my head at these times, but like an obsessive/compulsive, I HAVE to do it. I won't pace the floor til she calls me back, or call her every 15 minutes, getting hysterical - but I'll wait to hear from her all the same...