Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Some people with an agenda have started in again and it pisses me off. In a very nasty blog, they lie about two very good friends of mine, saying they are sleeping together.
I admit to being mean and nasty, but the truth is the truth and I tell it. To purposefully lie and insinuate about two very nice Christian people, to try to destroy their lives and marriages solely for political or personal gain, is reprehensible. Disgusting.
I have some very good friends with whom I swap emails and IMs constantly. Some of these are vents, some of these are jokes, and some of both can get, well, filthy, depending on our moods. One particular friend and I rarely see each other in person; so when we do, we chatter endlessly about everything, our heads close together and giggling like schoolkids. Do we love each other? You bet we do! Do we tease each other? Oh, Yeah! Do we respect each other, who we are, and what we do? Absolutely. Would we ever cross "the line" and make something fun and crazy and affectionate into something more? NEVER. He is one of the handsomest men I've ever met, intelligent, funny, educated, engaging, and kindhearted to a fault. BUT - we each know each other well enough to know that if we ever DID make the mistake of getting sexual, we'd probably kill each other. We'd lose that mutual respect, that affection, that shared fun and craziness, not to mention our lifeplans that have nothing to do with each other. It ain't worth it. Even my VSO (Very Significant Other) understands two things about me - that he is not my be-all and end-all for companionship, that I need friends - and that I relate far better to males than to females, because it was my father who raised me. He likes my friends, and he likes me having them, and he expects me to indulge in those friendships without damaging our own. Neither of us have jealousy where outside friends are concerned - we have our own lives as well as our shared one. Intelligent adults know this, respect this, about each other.
Men and women can be friends, can share things - and the closer they are, the more experiences they have in common, the more they will share. But that doesn't mean automatically that they are having sex. Anyone who thinks that is, simply, a pervert without a real sex life, or any sort of real life at all. Or just some miserable jerkoff with an agenda to lie, to hurt others, solely to promote themselves - and that is the most miserable and useless, cowardly bastard of all.
What REALLY pisses me off about it is that one of the behind-the-scenes posters publicly claims to be an upstanding member of the community - but thinks that everyone has forgotten not only his, but his current wife's, well-known and easily-researched FACTUAL history. Guess again. Those who live in glass houses don't need to even be throwing spitballs at other folks' suspected activities, when their own are soooo well documented and known.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The lupus strikes without warning, too; for weeks I'll be going along, slamming into and thru things like always, walking, talking, bustling from here to there, never still - and then suddenly I feel like I have the 'flu, an all-over body fever, muscle aches and pains, and the internal disruption that makes it impossible to eat, and the lesion starts to bleed embarrassingly - and I have to hide it all and keep going. Too much to do, and I have PLANS! I cannot stop just because I hurt and am hungry. The illegal "treatment" - that the producer has to call a "vitamin supplement" in this country because of the FDA, even though it has gone through many clinical overseas studies and passed with flying colors - helps me maintain my frenetic pace, although just barely. Still, it's better than it was when I was taking nothing at all - and FAR better than steroids, the "approved" treatment in the US. The steroids made me so weak and sick that I hated being alive yet unable to DO.
The spinach has leapt up out of the soil the past couple of days; all of that rain was a big help. The collards, cabbage, and the broccoli are really booming too, but the lettuce is practically non-existent. Apparently the ferals like it too much; so young and tender and juicy! I can't wait to start eating my spinach; I do love it so, raw or cooked or even braised. Looks like I may have enough of a crop to can and freeze this year. This one's seed packet says it only takes 30 days to get to size, and I'm counting them down! The new navel orange trees look GREAT; but I put them in containers so that they could be moved either inside or into the greenhouse when it really starts to get cold.
I am resting now... too busy this past week, and must prepare for next week, which will be twice as intense.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
It's an ack-cel-er-a-shun lane, moron! The car three cars ahead of me pulls verrry slowly to the end of it... and stops. OK, there's traffic coming. When the traffic clears, the first car starts to go, and we all start to merge (there's FIVE of us now) and then, the first car slams on his brakes. Apparently the sight of all of those headlights in a neat line behind him, merging together like a rehearsed ballet, scared him! We nearly had a pileup; then we all pulled out and passed the moron.
I call and ask the director of one of my projects if the newspaper reporter was called to take pictures of the $300,000 check we got for our project; yup, she was called, she just didn't show up. Two months after this reporter gushes that all the stories about this project receive priority, she's a no-show. Yup. I wonder if this reporter knows that what she's REALLY saying behind everyone's backs is getting immediately reported to our faces. She will. And not everyone is as stupid as she thinks.
I called a member of my staff to get some more information; as always, he was quick and responsive and I got what I needed immediately. This is good. Tomorrow I have a meeting with some people... it seems that twenty people are involved in a very expensive project, and one selfish arrogant individual wants to put the whole project in the toilet unless everyone follows her 1950's ideas and uses her best friends to do the work, etc. Not gonna happen, and that meeting tomorrow will clinch that.
I know I sound like a vindictive bitch. I'd like to say that I'm not. But I get sooooo pissed at people whom I treat gently, honestly, kindly, and with respect, who turn on me like snakes and knife me when I am trying my best to be nice to them and help them. One time lying to me is all it takes to make an enemy out of what could have been a fast and forever friend. I can excuse almost anything - gross ignorance, foolishness, even the occasional spasm of indiscretion - because I understand that people are human and sometimes we all go a little crazy. But to baldfaced lie to me for no reason - or to purposely try to hurt people whom they may never have even met, or who have never intended them any harm, just for their own self-gratification, self-promotion, or greedy grasping groping gripes with the whole world or their mommy or daddy who abused them - THAT will turn me into a vicious slavering bloodthirsty bitch. I sup my revenge cold, and with a long spoon. And I always get my revenge - whether it's causing someone to lose their job, or causing extreme and complete public humiliation, or even cutting off and leaving that moron at the head of the merging traffic lane (it says YIELD, not SURRENDER!) fuming at the next red light.
It gives me such visceral pleasure to sink my claws into someone's arrogant, supercilious, self-righteous, twisted little soul and to suck the last drop of blood out of it.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Yes, I have seen what it does to people. Two dear friends have had it. One lived, one died. The one who lived "only" had skin cancer. Because of this, he fusses at me all of the time for smoking. I know he means well. I know he loves me and doesn't want me to die a painful death as did his mother. I love him for that. But...
My other friend who died from it was a strong, vibrant, bullheaded woman. She and I had both agreed that we would never, ever, take chemo for the disease, if we came down with it. We had worked on many patients who died a slow lingering death, and that was not for us. No way! We would put up with it as long as we could, and when the pain got too bad, we would put ourselves out of our own misery. No muss, no fuss, no machines and tubes, or hair loss and throwing up. We were going to live as long as we were supposed to, then die with dignity, class, and style.
But unfortunately it didn't work out that way for her. Her family didn't want to lose her. They could not be strong without her. They begged with her, pleaded with her, argued with her. And she gave in.
She went thru the chemo and all those hospital and doctor visits. She went thru the expense. Her family beggared themselves (of course they were proud to do it) but that was not what she wanted. Finally, when she died, I could not go to see her at the end. And she understood. I wasn't mad at her - that would be silly. But I didn't want to see her like she had become - the way we had both agreed that we would never want anyone to see us. Weak and helpless, defenseless and useless.
So no I don't fear cancer. I simply fear that people will try to enforce their will on me when I am at my weakest, and that I too will lose my resolve and give in. And - I never give in.
Death I do not fear so much any more, either. Death when I was a young mother, raising a family, with responsibilities and concerns, was a terrifying thought. What if? Who would? How could?
But now it is just something that will eventually happen. I don't want it to be painful, of course - I fear pain more than I fear death. I know it is a stepping stone into another universe, another path. I don't know what that path will be of course - and I am not like the proselytizing holy rollers who think that heaven is a place where we play harps and sing to God, and hell is a place of eternal fires. Personally, if God is that weak-minded and needy, or has such a desperate, punitive need to punish in such a way for infractions, then He is not my God. If he doesn't have something for me to do - even if it is just to sleep! - I will be eternally pissed. It just doesn't seem practical - and I believe in a practical God.
But I'm not too worried about the whole cancer thing. Mostly because my whole family has smoked and drank and been rowdy and slammed their way through life, fighting and struggling and kicking and screaming... and not one has ever died of cancer. One aunt (for whom I'm named! Fancy that!) died in a mental institution. Aunt Charlotte took care of Grandma til she died, then just drifted away... "pined away" they used to call it. The rest all died of... well, problems resulting from drink and their livers. So I watch what I drink - my liver has already regenerated once, and I don't want to go through THAT again! - and drive hard, push harder.
But I may quit smoking yet... not just because it is getting too expensive, but because I plan very soon on not having the stress in my life that started me, and keeps me, smoking. Life is too short to waste it wrapped around a cigarette. When I do quit, though, I'll do it like I do everything else. By myself, on my own, and without applause, attention, and hoopla.
You know what bothers me? Is that people will argue endlessly about her qualifications as well as their visceral reactions to her - but never - never! - see a problem with the above video. Is it because
1) They don't understand it?
2) They think it is OK? or
3) They are simply mouth-breathing, emotion-driven morons who will follow any hype without ever utilizing critical thinking or reason to make their evaluations?
Someone writes something I agree with, I read it, and then... I decide to write them and compliment them.
The next damned thing that happens is that they write me and ask me to speak at a meeting!
Except this time.. the guy forwarded my post to 500 people, and one of THEM asked me to come and speak - to the 500 people!
Know what? I hate public speaking. I am really a very shy and quiet person in my home life. I like being in my yard. I like reading volumes of books. I like sewing and crafting and cooking. I like playing with my animals. That's pretty much it. If all of the TV stations went out, all of the computers went out, tomorrow, I could sit happily and write stuff like I used to - longhand on a legal pad. And never answer the phone, never talk to anyone. Sigh.
I don't get what people see in the whole "power" thing. I don't want to direct. I don't want to control. I don't really give a damn what other people do - as long as they don't bother me. I don't mind helping people occasionally - but those that REQUIRE endless help - and most of 'em do! - I would prefer never to meet.
My best friend says he wants to be a hermit. I laugh at him all the time. He could never be a hermit - he likes bright lights and being around people, being the center of attention. I don't. I could so easily disappear and never be heard from again, and fade with barely a ripple. I don't care where my name is on the brass plaques - or if it is there at all. I know full well that there will always be a bulldozer in the future to tear down the wall where the brass plaque is, or someone to say, "Do YOU remember who that was?" 100 years from now, where I was and who I was will not matter... because no one cares about history or making it any more. They all live in the "now". And that's so obvious because everyone makes the same mistakes, over and over.
So I'll go give my speech, rearrange my schedule, and have several hundred breathless people go "Wow!" and a handful be nasty and critical... and what they say, and what I say, won't matter, because none of them have the balls to grasp the nettle and do the work.
I TOLD them so. Told them and told them.
Every 10 years it happens. Some arrogant pissant of an elected official decides he (or she, or they) wants to nannyize their constituents. THEY know what's best for people. THEY are going to direct their lives. THEY are in charge, and it is up to the rest of the sheeple to fall in line, or suffer the consequences.
So they make some rule that suits them - and tell everyone publicly, oh, NO, we won't demand enforcement - this is just for the really really bad people out there who ruin it for everyone else. We would NEVER ask Law Enforcement to write tickets. We would NEVER fine people - just the ones with too much of what we don't like. We Don't want to hurt the decent citizens - just the habitual offenders.
Then, of course, the lowlifes drive around and call enforcement privately, demanding strict enforcement of the 'suggestions' they made. Because they are elected officials, they think that they are supreme - and exempt. They even call the public staff to do things on their private property, seeing nothing wrong with, say, a fire department arial called to trim their trees, or a public works crew coming to clean up their yard, or an engineering staff coming out to shoot the grades on their private property. One of the perks of the job... isn't it? Oh, and by the way, heaven forbid if the staff writes up a friend of THEIRS. That isn't what they meant at all by 'enforcement'.
That's why constituents get lawyers. That's why people get voted out of office. And that's why I got a National Wildlife Habitat certification for my yard 10 years ago. Because these small-minded, small-perspective, Liberal-arts-educated, homegrown morons think that a highly sanitized, highly fertilized, highly irrigated, low-cut swath of green weed that they call 'grass' is more environmentally correct than a morass of flowers and trees and bushes that shelter and feed the wildlife that eats the bugs that suck their blood. Because some people think that taking the law under their own interpretations, for their own personal satisfaction and visceral gratification of their own self-importance, is the way things are supposed to be done... "for the greater good".
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
You see, Mark has decided that the judges in SC Worker's Comp cases are giving away too much state money. He wants it to stop. He wants to review all of the cases adjudicated for Worker's Comp. Not only is this a blatant violation of the separation of the Executive and Judicial branches of government, a slap in the face to the Constitution - it has slowed down the WC caseload to a standstill. Why do I care?
For that, I have to tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was a man who had worked since he was 14. He didn't have a high school diploma/GED until he was 25. Yet he worked his way up in the public service - first the Air Force, then the fire service, then as a paramedic - to become a highly respected practitioner in his field. He saved many lives. He learned his trade well. And - he loved doing it.
One day, though, he got hurt at work. It took a year to find a doctor under Worker's Comp to even figure out what had happened. By the time the doctor did the surgery, he literally had to use a crowbar to pry the paramedic's spine apart - that was how badly it had been crushed. But the doctor put in a platinum cage, and some cadaver's bones, and pieced the paramedic's spine together. The paramedic - after another half a year - went back to the work he loved.
Then he fell. Another year of fighting doctors and Worker's Comp to get the treatment, even the diagnosis, he needed. Every doctor denied that he had a broken hip. His muscles atrophied. He was in extreme pain. Once again, he found a doctor to 'fix' him. Surprise! The surgery revealed that he had a 1-inch piece of bone from the break, revolving around in his hip socket. By that time, of course, he was a cripple. A year after the surgery, he is still on timed-release morphine as well as oxycontin. He cannot work - he cannot stay awake, most of the time. He can barely walk. He is deteriorating rapidly. His employer finally allowed him his disability pension. Social Security (as they do everyone, of course) will not give him one penny; he is on his third appeal. And still Worker's Comp not only insists that he is faking, but that he must go back to work!
27 years of saving lives in the Fire Departments and Emergency Medical Services of this state, and the state wants to kick him to the curb and tell him he's faking. A guy who has worked his whole life, usually two and three jobs at a time, and still took the time to raise a family, support a wife, and even create artistry in fiberglas and wood... in his 'spare' time. A guy who doesn't know what to do with himself, who is physically and mentally deteriorating, who would do anything to be free of pain and work again... but can't.
And Governor Mark Sanford thinks he needs to review these cases because Worker's Comp is giving away too much money?
Bite me, Mark. Go back to your million-dollar estate in Beaufort County, and call the Air Station and complain because the jets driven by 'our boys' are making too much noise for your guests to enjoy themselves. But call me, a little working-class, no-account constituent first - so I can come over and kick your ass. Your arrogant bourgeois sorry ass.
We have become led by the very bourgeoisie whom our ancestors left Europe to avoid. The nouveau riche, the arrogant and haughty, the stupid and breathlessly crass; those who have no class but think that the fact that they have money supersedes that little distinction.
Hillary Clinton is a prime example of this group. Some examples of her sensitivity, sincerity, and gentle understanding and consideration of people:
"Where is the G-damn f***ing flag? I want the G-damn f***ing flag up
every f***ing morning at f***ing sunrise."
-From the book "Inside The White House" by Ronald Kessler, p. 244 -
Hillary to the staff at the Arkansas Governor's mansion on Labor Day, 1991
"You sold out, you mother f***er! You sold out!"
-From the book "Inside" by Joseph Califano, p. 213 - Hillary yelling at a Democrat lawyer.
"F**k off! It's enough that I have to see you shit-kickers every day,
I'm not going to talk to you too!! Just do your G*damn job and keep your
-From the book "American Evita" by Christopher Anderson, p. 90 - Hillary
To her State Trooper bodyguards after one of them greeted her with "Good
"You f** *ing idiot"
-From the book "Crossfire" p. 84 - Hillary to a State Trooper who was
driving her to an event.
"If you want to remain on this detail, get your f***ing ass over here and
grab those bags!"
-From the book "The Firs t Partner" p. 259 - Hillary to a Secret Service
Agent who was reluctant to carry her luggage because he wanted to keep his
hands free in case of an incident.
"Get f***ed! Get the f**k out of my way!!! Get out of my face!!!"
-From the book "Hillary's Scheme" p. 89 - Hillary's various comments to
her Secret Service detail agents.)
"Stay the f**k back, stay the f**k away from me! Don't come within 10
yards of me, or else! Just f**king do as I say, Ok ay!!!?"
-From the book "Unlimited Access", by Clinton FBI Agent in Charge, Gary
Aldrige, p. 139 - Hillary screaming at her Secret Service detail
"Where's the miserable c*ck sucker?"
-From the book "The Truth About Hillary" by Edward Klein, p. 5 -
Hillary shouting at a Secret Service officer
"Put this on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those
sunglasses. We need to go back!"
-From the book "Dereliction of Duty" p . 71-72 - Hillary to Marine One
helicopter pilot to turn back while en route to Air Force One.
"Son of a bitch."
-From the book "American Evita" by Christopher Anderson, p. 259 -
Hillary's opinion of President George W. Bush when she found out he
secretly visited Iraq just days before her highly publicized trip to Iraq.
"What are you doing inviting these people into my home? These people are
our enemies! They are trying to destroy us!"
-From the book "The Survivor" by John Harris, p. 99 - Hillary screaming
to an aide, when she found out that some Republicans had been invited to the
Clinton White House
"Come on Bill, put your dick up! You can't f**k her here!!"
-From the book "Inside The White House" by Ronald Kessler, p. 243 -
Hillary to Gov. Clinton when she spots him talking with an attractive female
at an Arkansas political rally.
" You know, I'm going to start thanking the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in. I'm going to start thinking of her as a human
being" - Hillary Clinton
-From the book "The Case Against Hillary Clinton" by Peggy Noonan, p. 55
"We just can't trust the American people to make those types of
choices.... Government has to make those choices for people "
-From the book "I've Always Been A Yankee Fan" by Thomas D. Kuiper, p.
20 - Hillary to Rep. Dennis Hasert in 1993 discussing her expensive,
disastrous taxpayer-funded health care plan.
"I am a fan of the social policies that you find in Europe" Hillary in
-From the book "I've Always Been A Yankee Fan" by Thomas D. Kuiper, p.6
But of course, there's more - and this explains why she has so much affection from 'certain classes"... this is from a SC Highway Patrolman who was pressed into duty for security. This is straight from the cop's mouth - the joys of sitting down to meals with 'small town, stupid' public servants.
She and Buddy Bill used to come to Hilton Head Island every single Christmas Season for "The Renaissance". While Bill spent his evenings trying to avoid his Secret Service escort, Hillary spent hers, well...
"I was standing at the end of the corridor guarding the elevator on the Presidential floor. it was about 10:00 at night. The elevator door slid open, and standing there was a - I guess it was a woman. She looked like a diesel dyke - work boots, jeans, flannel shirt. I politely told the woman that she did not have access to this floor, that it was a secure area. While I was explaining this to the woman, the door to the Presidential suite opened. There stood Mrs. Clinton, in a see-through nightgown. "Let her pass, she's with me," said Mrs. Clinton. They went into the suite and closed the door. For the rest of my shift, neither came out."
You see, it's OK for a rich and famous First Lady to have a marriage that is a "blind" or a "cover", and to even write about her noble ability to forgive her husband's transgressions in a book. It is OK for her to hide in the closet. But it isn't OK for an Idaho elected, married official to try to go to the bathroom in a public place with an overzealous cop, and to try to avoid attention to a 'crime' that legally wasn't even a crime.
And all the morons buy into this crap.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Alright, I know I'm brilliant. Maybe not in the grand scheme of things; but in a general sense, I'm a fracking genius, apparently.
Why don't some people - okay, most people! - get it?
"It" is - oh, I dunno, life, and practicalities, and simple common sense to survive.
First you have one little virginal idiot. He's Catholic - devout - and so's his wife. They have their first baby on the way, and are looking to buy a house. So I recommend this great antibellum-style home; run down a little, sure, needs some help - but five bedrooms, huge rooms, formal dining room, a front porch to die for, a three car garage with a loft apartment, on an acre in a small downtown mainstreet - for $40,000. With $60,000 and a few friends, he can insulate and replumb and rewire this beast. So what does he do? Buys a little two bedroom, crackerjack box, cookie-cutter home in a fancy schmancy brannew neighborhood, for $160,000. The first thing that happens - he can't get his sprinkler system in the yard to work. He has to hire someone to come out and look at it - turns out the illiterate and unsupervised Mexicans have hammered in his sprinkler heads - upside down. Second thing that happens, his garage. Falls. Off. Yes, Falls Freaking OFF the house! Five years later, he's whining - he doesn't have room with the third baby on the way! He has to moooove! But the bottom has fallen out of the market and he can't. His cute and classy neighborhood has been undersold to a 'lesser element'. The cowards and miscreants that 'planned' his area development have let all manner of junk - residential and commercial - crowd into his once-tranquil space. Wanna know whose fault it is? All those people who moved here - after he did!
Second you have all of these sheeple who were told by every shyster real-estate agent, every predatory lender in a convertible, every advertisement on "reality TV" shows, that they too, not only "deserve" a home, but they can afford one, too, by golly! So all of these morons who have never even been able to balance a checkbook swallow this crap; hook line and sunken living room. They get balloon mortgages and adjustable rate mortgages, and then borrow money on their house to buy a brannew car, too! Whooo Hooo! We're rich, look what we got! When the piper comes calling, all of these little idiots stand openmouthed, empty-handed, pleading with anyone and everyone to bail them out. And the Federal government does - with all of the tax monies that all of us thinking, intelligent, people have had to send in over the years while we sat quietly in our fixed-rate mortgage homes, building our equity and watching our pennies.
Liberals whimper and whine, and morons and fools never change. But it is always the grownups, the responsible, the intelligent, the quietly frugal ones, who foot the bill for every moron in this area and the rest of the country - not to mention the rest of the world. Why don't these bloodsucking simpletons learn to read and write, take some Eco 101 courses and learn how money works? Why? Because they don't have to, that's why! There'll always be someone to bail the pathetic idiots out - with someone else's money. And - they know it. Don't think for one minute that these ticks don't know that they have to feed off of others to survive - most of them have done it all their lives and don't know any different. And the Federal government is the biggest enabler of these Whine Addicts!