Souls and Vampires

What's a soul?
What satisfies yours?
I spent many years of my life working to improve other peoples' lives, and that satisfied my soul. These folks needed my help, and sometimes it actually worked. I felt good about doing it, felt like I was making a difference. Maybe things could actually get better for them.

I was wrong.

I discovered that most people are the way they are, not because they need a little help or a little encouragement or a little push, but because they lived their lives expecting others to help them, save them, make them whole. They do not want to save themselves, they want other people to endlessly cater to their needs. They are determined to be ignorant, determined to be lazy, determined to be catered to. Case in point -

How many times, for how many years, did I beg local churches to come put on programs, to participate in Christmas or other public celebrations? That doesn't happen everywhere - most towns or cities don't WANT churches' participation. But even when I worked at the store at the red light, and the owner and I would try to get churches to come and sing or do things in the evening (which would have helped their churches fellowship and outreach programs) - they would promise but almost never show up. Even when the owner provided a piano and Santa Claus for free... An "all day singing and supper on the grounds'? Nice thought, most said - but no one would DO it. A potluck supper? Oh, no - the food had to be provided by someone else - and some people would fill four, even six plates to take home, and insult what was given to them for free. Would the locally-owned and operated fireworks stores put on fireworks displays in their own town, even if they were paid to do so? Uh-uh, forget it, no way... any fireworks displays and technicians had to be hired from out of town. Children were allowed to tear up whatever was provided, usually while parents watched. Basketball backboards were destroyed by rocks, graffiti sprayed on walls of public places - and the parents never took responsibility, never saw the reason nor the need to discipline their children - it was always someone else's fault. I once saw a grown-up man throw a can out of his pickup truck in front of my house. I walked to his house and asked him not to do it again. The trash on the roadways, thrown out by the bagsful, was no one's responsibility, though everyone complained about the mess it made, demanded that "someone" pick it up, insisted that it was "someone else's fault".

And last, but certainly not least, the woman who swore for years she was my best friend, whom I actually left my husband to in my will (back when he was young and strong and cute still), who begged me and another friend for protection from a (she said) "nasty wife abuser" who was "stalking" her and "harassing" her - turned around, four years later, and accused me of being prejudiced for NOT being friends with that same "abuser" whom she said was "harassing" her and "stalking" her! (To quote the prosecutor, "Were you lying then or are you lying now?")Emotional vampires, soulless, whining, complaining, demanding, sucking out the energy from other peoples' souls to justify their own pathetic, hapless, helpless, directionless, goalless, and useless existences. They didn't even have the grace or class to be ashamed of it - they were proud to behave that way.

Now, let me tell you about where I live now. There is a nice park in town - pretty old but well-kept. It has two basketball courts, two volleyball courts, a large swingset, concrete block bathrooms, and a 3-foot fence around it. The volleyball nets are not cut. The basketball backboards and nets remain whole. The fence is undamaged. There is never graffiti on any walls anywhere. There are no cops in town, except for the deputy sheriff who lives here - when he's working he's not here. There is no crime. None. Most people have guns but make no comment about them - other than to invite each other to go trap shooting. They don't allow their children to have cars with boom boxes. The streets and highways and parks are clean - no one throws trash out of their cars or on the ground. They would be ashamed to do so. This is their town and they are damned proud of it.

We had an Independence Day celebration here last month. Every family brought paper plates, napkins, and food. There was soooo much food! Everything you could imagine, from fried chicken to bratwurst in sauerkraut, salads and fruit, all kinds of pies, cakes, and cookies. Everyone lined up and got their plates and drinks filled. Afterward, the local ranchhands - who had taken pyrotechnic courses, and collected donations for fireworks - put on a display that lasted an hour and a half. Cost to the town = $0. Cost to the taxpayers = $0. We all sat in chairs or on blankets and watched the fireworks. During and afterward, everyone stood and talked - no shoving, everyone standing around and laughing. When people drove away, no one had to blow their horns or race their engines - people were polite, waving each other ahead of them. Not a single piece of paper, not a cup, was lying on the ground.

And that is the difference. Self-respect and respect for others. No one has more rights - or has more needs - than anyone else. Everyone participates in everything here - county fairs, church bazaars, even auctions and rodeos - and everyone keeps their own space clean, their own children disciplined and involved. No one says that the school or the church or the town owes them a thing - they all work for what they get, at whatever capacity they have(even the older folk bake and quilt and participate), and everyone helps and supports each other. When my neighbor saw that I had a gopher problem, he came over and poisoned them for me, without even telling me. When he needs help harnessing his 2-and-wagon show team, I go over and help without being asked. This is how it is.

When I volunteer my time here, I really AM making a difference - because people want to help each other, learn from each other, take care of each other - and succeed with each other. They WANT their children to achieve and be everything they can be. They don't whine about what they can't do, or demand that the world, the schools, the gubbermint, their neighbor, OWES them a living - they get together and figure out what they can do. These people have souls - and they satisfy each other's souls, without ever noticing or even knowing that there is a difference.

I actually have a whole, real life, with husband, kids, wants, needs, and desires - that I will fulfill, whether the greedy and selfish like it or not. You see, in spite of it all - I still have my soul. And now it is home, with other, like-minded, hardworking, and forward-looking souls. Growing, reaching out, and getting stronger, every day. Not sapped by ever-needy emotional vampires, ever again.

Gotta go. The Catholic Church bazaar is this weekend, the next town over, and everyone's going.... the Methodists are selling their pies again! Man I love those pies! Worh every penny they ask. And this week - the county fair, with 4H competitions, cookoffs, animal shows, arts and craft shows, 'biggest' and 'best' vegetables, more pies, and where even the tiniest children participate in a sheep rodeo - "Mutton busting". (All entry fees in all competitions - $4. That pays for the blue ribbons and 'bragging rights' for a year!) Not to mention the parade that kicks it all off, with people being proud of all of their heritage, showing it in their dress, their walk, their pride, their hard work, their refusal to throw one piece of trash on the ground or permit one child to step out of line. It doesn't "take a village to raise a child" - it takes responsible, decent, self-respecting parents. And these folks prove it every day, by living it.