Ahhh, that was relaxing

There I sat, in my bathrobe, drinking my coffee and mellowing out. I bought all my family's Christmas today, without fighting the crowds, without worrying about what place I had in line, or getting too cold or too tired standing outside some brightly lit store while the dimly lit parking lot filled with overly excited people, looking for bargains. I don't have that kind of money, can't afford to max out a credit card, and time is a premium with me any more.

I don't spend much on Christmas. Never have. Never will. One year I bought at the day-after Christmas sales, because I wouldn't see anyone til after Christmas anyway.

I did it all in between cleaning up the kitchen, watching a movie, and doing laundry. Peace and quiet, no dealing with people whom I would have to hit, no dealing with rude or exhausted cashiers, no trying to be polite to people whom I haven't seen who suddenly appear next to my shopping cart. Today the tree, wreath, and homemade decorations go up, and Christmas starts. And I still have money in my account. Ahhhhhh.

Last week I sent an ecard to a friend whom I love very much, whom I've loved for 20 years or more, whom I never get to see any more. We parted under bad circumstances not of our making. It is hard to love people when other people get between you; you can never be sure that they love you the same after all of the gossip and angst that comes between you. It is even harder, more frustrating, to love people when you have friends who hate each other, or despise each other, and you cannot make peace between them. Yet he answered right away, renewing my faith in our friendship. I don't love a whole lot of people (no matter what they might think) - maybe 10 all told. But it is good to love the few that I do.

A really nice guy dropped off a cooler full of deer meat this morning, Thanks. The larder would have been kind of bare in about four days. People don't know what it is like to go from $80,000 a year down to $40,000 a year in one day, with no hope of that changing any time soon, and it lasting and lasting and lasting for over two years as they wait for some kind of resolution that some bureaucracy is holding up to justify their paychecks. People don't know what its like to watch someone who used to be active and intelligent and downright funny slowly slip away, mentally and physically. And I am not normally a complainer, so most people don't know what my days are really like. Anymore, I just look for peace and quiet; my house a sheltering cave of silence except for the omnipresent TV sounds and pictures that keep someone else's brain synapses firing. (I hate most TV, aside from football and the hundreds of movies that I have recorded.)

So a restful and happy Thanksgiving week draws to a close, and a good thing too - because starting tomorrow all hell breaks loose and the Christmas rush inspires everyone to get together, call meetings, get things DONE before the holidays and New Year. Most of it doesn't matter, is as artificial as the plastic picks that adorn my handmade wreath; and I can't wait for the yearly hysteria to be over again.